Misery is not to be shared

December 6, 2018

Being Frank

By: Frank James
Special to the Milwaukee Times

Once again it is the giving season in America. All around the USA people are shopping for gifts to give to others or themselves. Stores are holding sales and malls are staying open late to meet the increased buying frenzy that has taken the nation. There is one gift or item that people seem to want to give that no one should accept. People in the USA love to share their misery. If a person wants to stay sane, misery is one gift that should be rejected.

I often ask people, “How can you be upset with a gift? It is free.” In many places the refusal to take a gift is considered the epitome of bad etiquette. In other regions of the world the refusal of a gift is an insult that can only be rectified by violence. Well, I’m here to say that if someone is offering a gift of his or her misery, reject it no matter what the social implications. Misery is just that, misery; and most humans create enough of their own to not be picking up someone else’s.

Society has formed these social institutions: relationships and family, that often lead to the sharing of misery. I am not saying that both of the aforementioned situations do not bring happiness. I am saying these two situations can easily become a wealth of misery. The way US society is set up people are supposed to accept the misery that so often comes with these two situations. I say enough is enough. Maybe your grand parents toughed it out and stayed married for 50 loveless years but it’s 2018; why should you? You have children and love them but you also have to love yourself. Once they get grown let them keep the misery they foment; a parent is not obligated to pick up their child’s misery. That is why there are such things as psychiatrists. Reject the gift of misery.

I see both older and younger people miserable with their family situation. The need to hold on to people who are hell bent to destroy themselves either through actions or thought is insane. There are parents who are mentally tortured by their grown children’s misery. The misery comes in various forms of actions and talk. For some unfathomable reason these parents think that by giving attention to their child’s foolishness they are helping the child. All these parents are doing is a perverse form of enabling the child. Free yourself, parents. Let these misery-troubled children go to the psychiatrist, while you go on vacation. Also parents, tell the child to take the grandchildren with them. Grandparents, be free; you have done your time. Reject the tainted gift of misery.

The concept of relationships in the USA is a joke at best. I know a guy who was in a relationship who said the only time he could talk to his female partner was if he lied and played miserable. Don’t laugh, this is a true statement. People in this country do not know how to be happy in relationships. For some reason people think the more they argue or disagree, the relationship is more real. It is like Eckhart Tolle said, “We’re fighting. The relationship is real.” People are scared to step out of the norm. Women and men sit in groups and share misery about their man or woman love interest like it is normal. If the relationship isn’t working then give it up. If you are in a relationship and are doing great in your field, don’t be brought down by your partner’s misery. There are billions of people on the planet-tell the miserable person to take their misery gift and hit the door.

Well, I better wrap this up. I don’t want to share the misery of long-windedness. Think about what was said and reject the misery gift this Holiday Season.

Frank James IV © 2018
beingfrankwithfrank@gmail.com

The opinions expressed in this editorial are those of the writer and not of the Milwaukee Times Weekly Newspaper or NCON Communication, its staff or management. “Being Frank” is a bi-weekly column exclusive to the Milwaukee Times Weekly Newspaper.

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