Understanding your emotional trauma is the first step to overcoming it

By Dr. Willie Allen

I received my first taste of violence as a child in St. Louis, when I was dragged into the street to fight with another child that I did not know. From that time on, I always wondered why children (and adults) would resort to violence. Eventually I asked some of my cousins what I should do when challenged to settle a dispute with violence.

The first cousin I approached told me that I needed to learn how to defend myself and that once the word got around that I could and would defend myself, the bullies would leave me alone. I was not entirely satisfied with that answer and so I approached a second cousin. This one told me that resorting to violence is not the way to go. “There are other options,” he said. “You have to think and use your head.” He gave me examples of how to use conflict resolution de-escalation tactics designed to avoid physical confrontations. I did not truly understand it at the time, but I remember the concepts. I was also not consciously aware how violent physical confrontations can result in emotional trauma.

At the age of seven I was severely burned on my upper left arm by an iron. When I was well enough to go outside again and play with other children, it seemed as if all of them wanted to fight. I did not understand why and it was very troubling to me. There were fights on the way to school, in school, after school and there were sometimes fights after school when I went out to play. I also suffered a particularly disturbing series of incidents soon after I started high school, when on several occasions an adult held me up at gunpoint for my lunch money. It could also be frightening to visit unfamiliar parts of St. Louis because there were rumors that street gangs had territories that they claimed and strangers could be subject to attack.

The aforementioned incidents are only a few points of interest from my life. They speak to early, traumatic experiences and my eventual recognition of the effects trauma can have on subsequent behavior, troubles and woes!

Very few human beings grow into adulthood without experiencing some emotional trauma that may cause the individual to act out in certain situations in a self-destructive manner. For those individuals dealing with particularly acute emotionally traumatic incidents, it may be worthwhile to revisit those incidents to evaluate how they may continue to have a negative outcome on the quality of lives.

Way back in 1952, Dr. H.J. Eysenck published an important journal article, “The Effects of Psychotherapy: On Evaluation” in the Journal of Consulting Psychology, in which he stated that “anyone may get better by exploring the connection between emotional trauma and behavior with a friend, neighbor, or even a stranger. Eysenck concluded that it was not even necessary to talk to another person. Once an individual recognizes that there may be a connection between the effects of emotional trauma and behavior, he or she can act on it accordingly.

Dr. Willie Allen is a retired, licensed, Board Certified psychotherapist who was in private practice as a therapist for more than 40 years.